Plasmatics
Butcher Baby (7 inch single)
1980
Stiff UK Records

Wendy O. Williams – Vocals,
Richie Stotts – Lead guitar
Michael David – Bass
Stuart Deutsch – Drums

01 Butcher Baby
02 Fast Food Service (Live)
03 Concrete Shoes

Years ago, a little while after the 1994 Northridge Earthquake, my Brother and I had a roommate named Jeff. Jeff was a really good guy. He was from the Midwest, and came to California for college. Jeff was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when he was eighteen years old. Out of everyone I have ever known, he has kept his diabetes in line the best; he is almost 0% body fat, exercises like mad, and watches everything he eats. Overall, a good dude.

One time while we were hanging out everyone was revealing childhood fears; I ‘fessed up to having an issue with clowns, and talking toys, like “Talking Tina” from the Twilight Zone.

Well, it comes around to Jeff’s turn and he seems to be bit embarrassed, but confesses that he is deathly afraid of dwarves. Turns out he has had this fear since he was a child, leaving him unable to watch the Wizard of Oz.

In all honesty, I didn’t believe him, until we were at the mall one day, and a dwarf couple walked by us, and I look over at Jeff and he’s looking the other way and starting to get jittery. At first I think it’s the diabetes, I ask if he’s cool, and he waves me away, and won’t talk. My brother starts laughing and says, “Jeff’s fine, he’s just freaking out over the couple that walked by.” Unbelievable.

Well, fast-forward a few years, and my Brother and Jeff are on a softball team together. The team has done pretty well all season, so they advance to a tournament in Las Vegas.

That same weekend, in the same hotel is a “Little People” convention. See where this is going?

Some of the guys see a group of dwarves, about six, coming off of an elevator, and offer to buy them a round of drinks if they’d wait around the corner, and charge their friend, Jeff, when he comes off the next elevator. They agree.

Jeff comes off the elevator, these six guys come charging, Jeff freezes, they start grabbing at him. He lets out a howl, and his adrenaline kicks in, and he starts punching, kicking and tossing bodies. It takes the whole softball team to drag him away.

Needless to say. The six guys got more than a round of drinks.

Moral of the story: be careful when joking with little people.

On with the review . . .

When I bought this single, I was probably fifteen; at that age I bought anything called “punk.” And after seeing Wendy O. exposed in Flipside number twenty-four . . .. Well, I was sold.

After, I bought a couple of slabs of Black Flag; this single was filed away, never to be played again.

If you don’t own it, give it a listen for old times sake.
Rating: * **** one out of five stars.

Currently:
Reading: Bring Me Your Love (illustrated by Robert Crumb) by Charles Bukowski
Listening: Everybody Out– Everybody Out
Watching: King’s Ransom directed by Jeffrey W. Byrd