Sex Pistols
Pretty Vacant (single)
1977
Warner Brothers Records
Producer Chris Thomas, Bill Price

John Lydon – vocals
Steve Jones – guitar
Paul Cook – drums
Glen Matlock – bass (and feet-washing)

01 Pretty Vacant
02 No Fun

In the past couple of years I’ve written a couple of times about Wayside, and some of the characters I met there. As I was preparing to write this column I found a note pad on my desk (my “desk” is made out of an old door) that had the single line “Roosevelt @ Wayside.” To you that means nothing, to me it puts me back almost a decade and a half. Let me clue you in. More than a dozen years ago, before marriage, before the birth of my son, etc., I found myself in some trouble, warrants, etc. And was sentenced to Camp Wayside, out by Magic Mountain, for approximately 1/3 of the year.

I spent a night or two in Van Nuys, then court, then a week or two in Los Angeles County, then home sweet home – Camp Wayside. It was during one of the hottest summers known to man (or at least to me), that I met a black guy named Roosevelt. When he was first processed through, Roosevelt was a wreck. He had been a crack-addict for years and years.

Because of the way he looked, there was no way to gauge Roosevelt’s age. Maybe sixty, maybe twenty-five. Who knows? The weird thing is, everybody knew him, and I mean everybody. But no one knew his whole name, just Roosevelt, I never heard if that was his first name or last, just Roosevelt.

Within a couple of days the black barber at the time snuck Roosevelt into the barbershop and gave him an “Extreme Makeover.” Trimmed the beard, cut his hair, and all the barber shops had nail clippers, which you couldn’t have in general population. So, as Roosevelt got his hair cut, he trimmed all his dragon-like finger, and toenails.

By the time he walked out of there, he looked like an attorney visiting an inmate, not the inmate.

The one hundred days that I spent with Roosevelt was always entertaining, because Roosevelt didn’t have access to crack, he developed a horrid addiction to caffeine. And because he was picked-up off of the streets he had no money on his books. So, he was always looking for some coffee from somebody. Coffee was bought from the machines or the once a week store. But it wasn’t like we buy coffee; it was purchased as tea bags, for twenty-five cents each. I have always been a major coffee fiend, drinking it heavily since high school, so I would stock up, buying five dollars worth at a time. Then I would kick down a bag a day to Roosevelt.

One day, one of the guys in my barrack needed a hair-cut (I was the “white” barber) because he was going to get a visit from his fiancée, he wanted to look sharp. I cut his hair and shaved him with the edger; he didn’t have any money on his books. No worries, just pay it forward, he said he’d “hook me up, tomorrow.” The next day, during his shift in the office he nabbed a half a pound of coffee grounds from the sheriff’s stash. This was like gold.

The next night while everyone was asleep; Roosevelt came fluttering into my barrack, like a bat, while the rest of the camp was asleep (Roosevelt never slept more than three hours a day). He starts smacking my foot, “Homeboy, homeboy, you awake? Homeboy, you got any coffee?” I was half expecting him, but more around daylight hours. I reached into my bag and handed him the coffee grounds, which you put into a sock and dip into hot water, and got coffee much better than the tea bag shit. He looked at the grounds, and then up at me and said: Thanks, I love you, homeboy.” And fluttered off again.

The next day at lunch I overheard a sheriff saying that Roosevelt was a genius as a child, that he started taking classes at UCLA at twelve years old. And had an incredible understanding and/or grasp of quantum physics.

I never saw this side of Roosevelt. The Roosevelt I knew was always on the go, looking for his caffeine fix.

One afternoon everybody (except the sheriffs) were put on alert, because the “south-side” car was planning on making some pruno, and inside the walls of the camp that meant drunken gang members, which led to riots, usually. Roosevelt heard about the pruno making, and decided to warm his way into the party.

I saw him two hours later, visibly drunk, but trying to explain to me why Star Trek was full of shit. “Motherfucking Captain Kirk . . . beam me up Scotty. His weight, in the ‘60’s, you could’nt transport him. I could’ve made him disappear, but transport, bullshit. Now, I’ll transport a motherfucker, back then bullshit.” I just listened; he was laughing his ass off. I smiled, but was clueless. But the more he laughed, the more the sheriffs started looking. So, I pulled him into the barbershop, and gave him a number two attachment on the head and beard, and let him hang out in the shop until he was somewhat sober.

At the end of those one hundred days with him, I said goodbye to a couple of people, and then Roosevelt came by, and looked very sad, was it friendship? Or his coffee connection? The other two barbers (Hispanic and Black) promised to foot him his caffeine addiction.

It’s been more than a quarter of my life since I was back in Wayside, but occasionally I remember some of the characters I met there. But now it’s like someone else’s life I’m watching. Like a strange Quentin Tarrartino movie playing in my head.

People you wouldn’t notice on the street become your temporary “friends” . . . for a brief moment in time.

On with the review . . .

Pretty Vacant was the third single released by the Pistols. This ode to apathy was released on October 27, 1977 (in America). The song marked the band’s only appearance on the British music show Top of the Pops

The song is infamous for the rumor that Johnny’s phrasing of the word vacant, emphasizing the last syllable making it sound like “cunt”

According to Glen Matlock the riff was inspired by “S.O.S.” by ABBA after hearing it on the radio. It was first released as a vinyl.

The B-side is a cover of The Stooges’ “No Fun” which they played on the spot without a rehearsal.

If you don’t own it, get it.

Rating: ***** five out of five stars.

Currently:
Reading: Sleepers by Lorenzo Carcaterra
Listening: Agent Orange – Bloodstains (single)
Watching: Old Boy directed by Chan-wook Park