Dear Landlord/Off With Their Heads
October 2007
No Idea Records

Off With Their Heads
Ryan Young: guitar, vocals
Justin Francis: drums
Nate Gangelhoff: bass
Josh Lynch: shred guitar 1
Dan Jensen: shred guitar 2

1. Die Slow
2. Splendid Isolation

Dear Landlord
Adam – bass, vocals
Brad – drums, words
Brett – guitar, vocals
Zack – guitar, vocals

3. High Fives
4. Crashing

I got this, like I get most Dear Landlord releases, with the hope of new tracks. With this split, track five, Crashing is one of the few Dear Landlord tracks floating around out there that isn’t on their full-length album Dream Homes. Not a bad comp.

Pick it up if you have the chance.

Rating: ** * two out of three stars

On with the story . . .

A few years ago, on Free Comic Book Day (http://www.freecomicbookday.com), I ran into a bit of a problem. No, I got some comics for me and my son, that wasn’t the problem.

My son and I had gone to three or four different shops, and picked up as many comics as we could carry. Finally, after driving around for hours we were done.

I’m driving down this side street when this SUV comes flying out of a driveway, misses me by, about six inches. I lay on the horn, and swerve.

Well, turns out that honking my horn at this prick pissed him off. So, he swerves in right behind me and inches behind me, just short of rear-ending me.

I figure, at first, that it’s a coincidence that he’s behind me. So, I switch lanes, and turn into the left turn lane. The kid in the SUV makes a quick sharp left, and he’s behind me in the left turn lane. Normally, this macho type of driving doesn’t faze me, but my son is in the backseat in his car seat, and I don’t like any bullshit when I’m with my kids.

I wave my hand up in the air, kind of a “What the hell?,” gesture. The kid starts yelling, “Fuck you, who are you to fucking honk at me?” I give my son a handful of comic books, and tell him, “I’ll be right back, and I have to check something.” He smiles, and says “OK.”

I get out, walk a few steps, and I’m at the SUV. I look at this 18 or 19-year-old punk, and think to myself, somebody somewhere made this kid think he was tough. Maybe he roughed up a girlfriend, little brother or sister, and now he’s Chuck Norris. So, I give him my introduction, “The fuck you following me for, motherfucker?”

“You didn’t have to honk at me.”

“If you knew how to fucking drive you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Fuck you.”

“You know what? Get out of the car.”

At this point, my heart was racing. I wanted to get back to my kid quickly, unscathed, but knock this guy out quickly.

He opens his door to get out, his hand reaches up to hold onto the roof of his SUV. I grab the handle of the door and slam the door on his arm eight to ten times, as fast as I can.

He starts screaming, “Ow, god dammit. What the fuck.”

When I stopped, he had a dent on his bicep that was turning blue. I warned him again, “Stay in your car, and drive the fuck on.”

“Fuck you dude.”

Again, he opens the door, this time he keeps his hands inside and steps out with his left leg. Since I’m all-nerves and want to get back to my kid, I kick the door closed on his leg.

He starts cursing at me, I grab the door handle and slam the door on his leg five or six more times, until it’s purple and starting to bleed a bit.

Now, I yell at him again, “You want to fight me, fucker? Get out of the car!”

Now his eyes are watering, and he’s getting scared, he says back to me, “You won’t let me out of the car.”

So, I tell him again, “This is your last chance, drive the fuck on. Follow me, and I won’t let you go. Understand?”

“Uh huh, OK, sorry.”

Now, I’m starting to wonder how long my son has been in the car alone, if he’s noticed me gone. The SUV pulls into the right lane and drives off. I pull into a parking lot. Watch the SUV until it’s out of eye-shot. Then I go home.

We get into the house and my son tells my wife all about the Free Comic Book Day, not a mention of me getting out of the car. He didn’t notice. Thank God.

LAST ONE TO DIE is officially out: A discount code was added, when you order at: https://www.createspace.com/3669330 type in FGACJX53 and receive 10% off.