Henry Rollins – Provoked

14 Dec

Henry Rollins
Provoked
2.13.61 Records
April 1, 2008

1. Sex Ed
2. Kids
3. Indie 103 Party
4. Wide Stance Sitter
5. Horses
6. Van Halen
7. Invasion Force
8. Mandelaism
9. Nature’s Wild
10. Adrian
11. What I Am

Henry has some kick ass stories here. The imitations of Raymond Pettibon and David Lee Roth are worth the price of this alone. And the Sex Ed story about the two guys that “share” a condom is too funny. The older Henry gets, the funnier he is.

Provoked is the 15th live spoken word album by Henry Rollins, released on April 1, 2008, as a CD/DVD combo on 2.13.61 Records.

The DVD includes the Comedy Central special Live and Ripped From London, which was recorded May 17 & 18, 1999 and first aired August 11, 2000.

A small portion of this special was included as a bonus track on Rollins’ 2001 release, A Rollins In the Wry.

Recorded live on 11/6/07 at San Francisco’s Herbst Theatre and 1/23/08 at Amsterdam’s Paradiso during Rollins’ 2007/2008 “Provoked” spoken word tour. The CD contains over an hour of hilarious and insightful commentary on topics ranging from Larry Craig to the recent Van Halen reunion with pit stops along the way to discuss kids these days, gay marriage, and the current president’s creative use of the English language. Includes a bonus DVD: “Live and Ripped from London” originally aired as a well-received television special on Comedy Central and not previously released on DVD.

If you don’t own it, give it a listen.

Rating: ** * two out of three stars

On with the story . . .

I tried a little fiction this week . . .

PART ONE

Mail Girl looked and Walter for a full minute and said, you want to take me to Paris? Walter started to speak, but could only stutter, so he resigned himself to just nod his head.

Mail Girl asked, when? Walter swallowed and said, now.

That night Walter went home, packed his suitcase and left all the rest of his worldly belongings on the curb.

The new Walter showed Mail Girl the world, things he stopped showing the wife a decade back.

Once they returned to the states, they moved into a brand new townhouse. Night and day Mail Girls’ friends were over being entertained. Walter was a hit.

After living together for three-quarters of a year, Walter started preparing for Mail Girls’ twenty-first birthday. He ordered streamers, confetti, made calls. It would be huge!

Mail Girl came home from work, dropped her purse on the table, and told Walter to order dinner because she had to pack for Vegas.

Walter’s heart sunk. What? What Vegas?

Remember Brian? The guy that was at our party last week?
Yeah.
Well, I always liked him, and he’s taking me to Vegas.
Oh.

Walter fell back onto the couch.

A week later, Walter drags himself to the answering machine.

Hi Walter, Vegas is going almost too good. Listen, I’m moving in with Brian. Thanks for everything. Take care.

His first thought was, what the fuck have I done.

He called his wife, his daughter, and his son.

No one picked up.

A week later, Walter received a letter from his son.

Dad:

In your attempt to re-live your youth, you grabbed the wrong bankbooks, thus emptying our college funds, and forcing mom to sell the house. The three of us are all working now. College is postponed for about five years.

I can’t say I will ever understand why you did what you did. But after tearing apart the family that I thought you held so dear – it would be best if you never show your face around here again.

I hope you and your new woman have a long and happy life together.

Your son

Walter cried and drank and felt sorry for himself.

Walter lies on his bed, in his darkened living room.

Through some medical reports that were forged he was able to convince a doctor to set him up with a device the size of a large lunchbox. When the red button on the top of a black cord connected to the device is pressed, two different liquids mix together and Walter will have a shortness of breath, and fall asleep and if the device works . . . not wake.

Walter isn’t dying. Walter is beatdown and frankly through with life.

Walter squeezed the button.

 

 

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Misconceptions of Hell is available now: http://goo.gl/n9ofGb

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One Response to “Henry Rollins – Provoked”

  1. 1
    Eddie Cook Says:

    Cool review and great story!

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